i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
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