If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
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