My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
