she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
Randomize
