does your mom think i'm crazy? i just realized i played both the gay dad and the ex-jew card tonight. i blame the wine
Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
Randomize
