weddingsv make me drug and hornr
Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
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