we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize
