I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
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