how can u be prego again
So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
the raccoons are back...
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