Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
worst night to have a conscience
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
Randomize
