i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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