Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Randomize
