Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
what the fuck happened to the tacos
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
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