K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
