Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
