You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
Randomize
