Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
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