How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
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So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
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