just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
Randomize
