Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
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