just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
Randomize
