he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
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