I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
Randomize
