I heard we made out
Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
