it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
Randomize
