Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
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