ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
two words: eviction party
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
Randomize
