Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
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