Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
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