i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Randomize
