Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
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