Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
2020 sucks, I want a refund
Randomize
