Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
she smelled like a LAN party
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Randomize
