I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
Randomize
