Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
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