The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
Randomize
