Those balls look pretty dangerous.
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
Randomize
