omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
Randomize
