This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
Randomize
