I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
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