the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
Randomize
