I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
Soap is not a condiment
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Randomize
