Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
Randomize
