Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
Randomize
