i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
Theres a note on my antibiotics that says "Do not chew or crush. Swallow whole." I think that would be a good tattoo for just above my penis.
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
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