i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
Randomize
