so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
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