LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
i think i just naturally attract stoners
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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