but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
So much rum. So many feels.
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Randomize
