No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
...so i touched it.
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
Randomize
