3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
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