he kept farting in my kitchen and blaming it on the dog. then we went to wendy's and he spent twenty minutes in the bathroom. im pretty sure he shit his pants.
you should have known when you found out he drove a mini cooper not to hang out with him.
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
It's no shave November. This is our time.
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
Randomize
