Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
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