Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
