My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
Randomize
