i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
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