Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
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