Why are handjobs necessary in class?
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
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