..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
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