mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
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