During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
I have already put on my inside pants.
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
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