he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
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