Those balls look pretty dangerous.
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
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