I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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