yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
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