rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
Randomize
