we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
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